A Little Broken
by courtneylc82
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER UP! When Nick suffers a terrible loss, Jess jumps in to help with both feet. As Nick struggles to cope with his own grief, he also struggles to get a handle on his rapidly evolving feelings for his roommate. My take on the Chicago spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

**Thanks for all the kind words about my first fic "Just to See." This will be a multi-chap story as well! I don't own ****_New Girl_**** or anything associated with it.**

* * *

Nick rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands for what seemed like the millionth time since he woke up. It was one of those perfect Los Angeles Saturdays, the kind that made Californians ooze smugness; the kind of weather that inspired beach traffic, brunch crowds and annoying Facebook posts. _Why would I ever leave L.A. when this is what February looks like? Barefoot in the park the week of Valentine's Day, life is rough! _ The sun was slanting through his window with reckless cheerfulness. Even with the curtains drawn, he could have penned a novel, deciphered something on graph paper, found a missing contact lens. The weather's resolute perfection made Nick's misery all the more pronounced.

A missed call from his Mom is what woke him up before seven. He saw his phone light up, read the caller ID and aimed a little shout of annoyance at his pillow. _It's 6:49 a.m. Ma! I can't deal with your crazy this early. _Nick pulled the covers over his head, but had a hard time willing himself back to sleep. His Mom hadn't left a voicemail, which made him feel a little funny, so after 20 minutes of tossing and turning, he gave up and called her back.

She answered on the first ring and there was no scolding in her tone. She didn't admonish him about being lazy or tease him about not being a morning person. Her voice sounded strange and hollow. Something was up. She wearily told him his Dad was gone. A heart attack she explained; too many beers, too much stress, too many years dodging creditors and bookies. Nick couldn't figure out what to say or even what to ask. He told his Mom he loved her and that he'd be on the first flight out that had room.

Two hours later, Nick was still in his room. He hadn't climbed back into bed. Instead, he attacked the clutter in his bedroom with uncharacteristic ferocity. He vacuumed, hung up wayward articles of clothing, made a pile for Goodwill, filled a trash bag with crap he didn't want and dusted every single surface in reaching distance. He straightened his books, CDs, movies, picture frames and was just about to attempt to turn his mattress when he heard a soft knock at the door.

"Hey Nick, everything ok?" Jess called. "I've been hearing some confusing early morning bustle from your room and figured it was probably a robbery-in-progress, 'cause why else would you be up and moving by 9 a.m.?"

Nick opened the door to a smiling Jess, who looked more cheerful than should be allowed in a pair of jeans and a bright green t-shirt decorated with applique lemons. She proffered a cup of coffee and then gasped at the state of his room.

"Nicolas!" she exclaimed, smiling. "What's gotten into you? This place is pristine!" She walked into his bedroom, aghast, and checked out the full scope of his early morning cleaning. "Do I smell lemon Pledge? Are these vacuum tracks? Are your shoes grouped by color?" Jess turned to look at him, her smile fading a little. "What's going on?"

Nick opened his mouth to speak, but was surprised to find his throat was desert dry. He gulped some of the hot coffee Jess had brought him and it scalded a little strength into him. He sat down on the edge of his perfectly made bed and looked up at Jess, who now looked downright alarmed.

"My Dad's dead Jess," Nick said. "I just found out, my Mom called this morning."

Jess clapped a hand over her mouth and blinked back a few shocked tears before getting a grip on herself a dropping next to him.

"Oh Nick," she said softly. "Oh God, I'm so sorry; how terrible." She put her hand on his shoulder and just left it there as they sat quietly. Her hand was like a little, reassuring friend, warming him the tiniest bit through his old blue t-shirt. A few moments passed before she spoke again. "Ok, so what do I need to do?"

"What?" Nick asked. "What do _you_ need to do?"

"Yeah, I figure you probably have a lot on your plate right now, so how can I help? Do you want me to look for flights to Chicago? I can call the bar and tell them what's going on and how about I run your suit and a couple dress shirts to the one-hour dry cleaner? Also, I'm a tremendous packer."

Nick stared at her in disbelief. She hadn't asked him how his Dad had died. She hadn't tried to pry him open and unlock his feelings. In true Jess form, all she asked of him was permission to help.

"Jess, that's really, I mean, I really appreciate…" his throat closed a little and she waved him off.

"It's nothing. You'd do the same in a minute." Jess said looking him straight in the eye. "How about this? I know you probably have some people to call and things to figure out. Do you want me to start with flights? How about something that leaves tomorrow before lunch?"

"Yeah, that's good. See if you can find something semi affordable," Nick finished, blushing.

"Absolutely. Don't worry; Chicago isn't exactly in high season during the month of February. Ok, I'll check in with you in an hour, sound good?"

"Yeah, that's great. Jess, thanks."

He turned to look her full in the face and his stomach clenched a little. They'd had an interesting couple of weeks. Their heart stopping kiss after True American had changed everything. Sure, they'd both backed away from each other and tried to brush the kiss off as a one-time "mistake," but the electric pull between them in the days since told another story. They'd been spending more time together than usual, and each little joke, each flirty touch seemed amplified now. Nick wasn't ready to admit what it was exactly that he felt for Jess, but right now, as he took in the tenderness of her gaze, the concern in her face, he knew it was more than just attraction.

"I'm happy to do it. Nick, I'm so sorry this happened." With that, Jess slid her arms around his neck and pulled Nick into a warm hug. Hugs weren't usually his default, but he wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and clung on like a drowning kid to a life preserver. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, _you can do this_, _you can get through this._

Jess pulled back, gave him a steadying smile and walked in the hall. "See you in an hour."

* * *

Exactly 60 minutes later, Jess popped her head in his open door. Nick was already exhausted from playing the messenger. He'd made about 15 calls in the last hour. Repeating the same, grim information time and time again was taking its toll.

"Hey Nick, I made you a little late breakfast," Jess held out a plate laden with a fried egg sandwich and two mini muffins. "Do you want to eat in here or in the kitchen?"

"In the kitchen definitely," Nick said following her out. "I need to preserve the integrity of my clean room." His first attempt at humor was a little weak, but it felt good to try. "Thanks Jess," he said as he dug in. "I didn't realize how hungry I was."

"No problem. So are you ready for flight information?"

"Lay it on me."

"Ok, well luckily I had _a_ _lot_ of miles stored up from flights home to see my parents and girl's weekends with Cece, so I got us two free non-stops into O'Hare that leave tomorrow at 9:15."

Nick stopped eating. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I just thought, you know it's hard to do this stuff and I had all these airline points saved and you know, I'll get a hotel, I just thought it might be easier to travel with someone. I can help with errands and stuff in Chicago and then disappear when you need to have family time. But I can just cancel mine, I mean, if this is stupid. You might not want me around and I don't know, I just thought…"

Jess halted her rambling monologue to catch her breath, but before she could crank up again, Nick took her face between his hands and stroked both thumbs across her flushed cheeks. He tried to convey the strength of what he was feeling with a look and his gentle touch, but didn't know if it was enough.

"Thank you Jess. I'd love you to come." Losing his nerve a little, he released her and turned back to his breakfast. "Those flights sound great."

Jess cleared her throat and came back to herself. "Good, then it's all settled. I'll run your clothes to the cleaners and then help you pack. By the way, Schmidt and Winston will fly in later, once the service is set."

Nick opened his mouth to protest, but found he really didn't want to. As Jess bustled off to gather up his one and only dark suit, Nick felt the first prickle of grief sting his eyes and gouge his throat. His Dad was gone; and "a little broken" Nick Miller was supposed to pick up the jagged shards left behind. He didn't know what he was doing; he wasn't sure how he felt, and now his friends were putting their lives on hold to support him. His heart swelled painfully in his chest. He didn't deserve it.

* * *

Sunday morning dawned a little chillier than Saturday. He had hauled his black suitcase and Jess' two, flowery totes down to the curb. As Schmidt had insisted on playing early morning chauffeur, they'd arrived at the airport in plenty of time. Settled at the gate, he looked over at Jess as she sipped green tea while immersed in her novel. It was a Swedish mystery called Echoes From the Dead and every now and then she'd gasp in shock or exclaim, _No way!_ After watching her read an entire page with her hand covering her mouth, he let out of puff of laughter, breaking her concentration.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing really, you're just funny," Nick said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just that with everything you do, you just really go for it, you know? Like right now, reading that book. You're not just flipping through it, you're inside that story. You keep reacting to the plot and you're so immersed in what's going on, you keep drinking tea that's too hot and wincing."

Jess laughed. "Yeah, well I've always kind of been like that with reading. My Mom used to let me bring books to restaurants and the waiter would always have to say '_Miss?'_ like a hundred times before I'd look up and realize it was time to order."

Nick laughed. "I can see that. But it's not just reading. The way you jumped in yesterday to help out with this stuff, and right now, you coming with me? That's not just a normal friend thing to do." Nick looked down at his hands. "It really means something to me."

Jess reached over and laced her fingers through Nick's. He looked down at their joined hands and took a shaky breath.

"Nick, it means something to me too."

The crackly loud speaker announced it was time to board and Nick and Jess filed onto the plane. Once their stuff was stowed and they were buckled in, Jess turned to Nick with a nervous little smile.

"So, Nick, we've never flown together before, so one thing you should know is that take-off and landing are two phases of air travel that I'm not a big fan of."

"Is that so Jessica?"

"Yessir, so I may act a little clingy and weird, but once we're at 30,000 feet, I'll act normal again. Same goes before touchdown. So can you handle a little close proximity, just for a few minutes?"

Nick stretched his arm out, wrapped it around Jess's trembling shoulders and pulled her close. She immediately snuggled in, closed her eyes and buried her face in his chest. "Well, if I must, I must. You did spring for the tickets," Nick laughed.

As their Chicago-bound plane went airborne, Nick felt his heart lift just a little. Even though he was on his way home, where a tangle of upset and grief awaited him, at least he was headed there with someone who thought he was worth the trip.

* * *

**_If you have a second to review, I'd love some feedback!_**


	2. Chapter 2

The weather that greeted them in Chicago was the polar opposite of Saturday's L.A. perfection. The sky was steel gray and Lake Michigan was choppy and white capped. It was 19 degrees outside, but the nasty wind the city was known for made it feel much colder. As Nick and Jess elbowed their way through baggage claim and meandered toward the cab line, Nick let out a dry laugh.

"Honestly, could this forecast be more cliché?" Nick shook his head. "Hey Nick, welcome home, your Dad is dead and your family has dumped most of the funeral planning in your lap, so we painted the sky to match!" Nick finished sarcastically.

"I agree, it looks like an early scene from 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' around here. It's bleaker than bleak. How did you deal with this growing up?" Jess asked.

"I never really thought about it," Nick shrugged. "It was cold, but everyone thought it was cold, so you didn't feel overwhelmed or anything. But since I've left and come back, I've definitely lost my tough-guy, cold weather hide; this sucks!" They both laughed as they shuffled to the front of the line and claimed their taxi. After Nick gave the cabbie his address, Jess cleared her throat.

"So, I booked myself a hotel close to Northwestern, you said your family lives in Evanston, right?"

"Yeah, we lived in one of the other suburbs when I was little, then we moved to the city. But once my brother and I were out of the house, my Mom moved to Evanston. Not the glitzy, shined up part of town, the normal part."

"Normal is good," Jess reassured him. "So do you want me to drop my stuff off and hide out for a while or should I hang with you?"

"You know, this whole scene is going to be weird no matter what. My family is crazy Jess, so you might as well tag along. I can borrow my Mom's car and take you to your hotel later."

Nick wasn't sure why, but he felt a little nervous. He didn't want to ditch Jess at her hotel and face his family alone. But at the same time he was terrified to bring her to his Mom's house and the weird dynamic that was waiting for him there. His brother and cousins would probably drink too much and say something rude; or worse, try to impress her. His nutty great aunt would be inappropriate and his Mom, well his Mom was even tougher to peg. She wasn't crazy about the fact that Nick lived on the West Coast and she wasn't thrilled that he didn't have a lot of time for visits home. Anything that tethered Nick to L.A., Jess included, was probably in for a little bit of the cold shoulder.

"So, anything I should know about your family before we get there?"

"Oh Jess," Nick said rubbing his eyes. "Unfortunately, I'll think you'll be able to figure it out all for yourself."

* * *

"Ma, we're here!"

Nick opened the door to his Mom's cozy, one-story house. As much as his family drove him insane, Nick still felt a little pang of warmth when he crossed the threshold. The house smelled like banana bread and cider and the framed photos on the wall were the same ones he'd grown up looking at. He was home. And Jess had come home with him.

"Nicolas!" his Mom shouted from the kitchen. She bustled out to greet him and enveloped him in a hug. "It's so good to see you!" Nick's Mom stepped back and he could see that worry lines creased her normally cheerful face. Dark circles were visible below her eyes and she looked very unsure. "This was just so unexpected and we're really not sure what we're doing. Thanks for getting here so fast."

"Thank Jess," Nick said tugging her forward a little. "She used her airline miles to book us flights. Mom, this is Jessica Day, one of my roommates."

"I'm pleased to meet you Mrs. Miller, but I'm very sorry about the circumstances. I know this is a difficult time for your family, but I'm happy to help out with anything that needs doing this week, just say the word."

"Thank you, but I'm sure we'll be able to manage. We'll reimburse you for the plane ticket," Nick's Mom said warily. "And call me Bonnie."

Jess looked a little thrown by the icy edge to her words, but soldiered on in true Jess fashion. "Ok Bonnie, and please, the plane ticket was my pleasure, the miles were just sitting there, you don't owe me anything."

Nick's Mom nodded crisply and turned toward the kitchen. "If you're hungry Nick, there's snack stuff here. Your brother and everyone else will come around 5 and we can all eat dinner."

Nick gave Jess and apologetic look. "Thanks Mom, do you need help getting dishes out of the high cabinet?"

"If you wouldn't mind, yes."

"Nick, I'm going to go wander around and look at pictures and stuff and give you guys a few minutes without me," Jess said in an undertone.

"Thanks, I'm sorry she's being weird, she's just overwhelmed," Nick grabbed Jess' hand and gave it a warm squeeze.

Jess squeezed back and grinned. "No apology necessary. Now scoot, I'm off in search of Nick Miller dressed as a pumpkin or missing his front teeth or, if I'm lucky, naked in the bath tub!"

Nick rolled his eyes and headed to the kitchen to help his Mom.

As he transferred stacks of china from the 'hardly ever used' cabinets to the 'every day' cabinets, his Mom filled him in on the funeral planning. They were going to wait until Saturday morning so family from out of town could make it in. Walt hadn't wanted a viewing, just a memorial service, so that simplified things. But beyond picking a day and eliminating the possibility of a wake, Nick's Mom hadn't done anything else.

"I just don't know where to start, there's so much to think about," Bonnie said wearily from the kitchen table while Nick stacked cereal bowls on the counter.

"I know Ma, but you can't just pretend this isn't happening, we've got to get moving on this." Nick turned to look at her. "Tell you what, let's just divide up what we can do today, ok? Can you call the church and nail down the time for Saturday's service?"

His Mom nodded, "I've got Carol's home number; she organizes all that."

"Ok good. Now how about all Dad's junk, I know he's got a stash of crap somewhere that needs to be dealt with."

"He has a storage unit in Skokie that he hasn't paid the rent on in a while. I called them yesterday and they said if we get it out this weekend, they won't take it to auction."

Nick closed his eyes and hung his head. So he was going to spend the day going through a mound of his father's worldly possessions. His Dad was a disorganized, borderline hoarder. This should be a treat.

"Ok great, is Dad's old truck still here?" Nick said bravely. "I'll take Jess with me and we'll toss or donate whatever we can and put the rest in the garage.

"Oh, is your friend staying long?" Nick's Mom asked stiffly.

"Mom, don't do this. Yes, she's staying as long as I am. She got a hotel near campus."

"I just didn't realize…"

"Well, now you do. While we're out, do you need us to pick up anything for dinner?"

"No dear, I've got it all. Try to be back around 5."

* * *

Nick and Jess rattled along the highway in his Dad's drafty old truck. Skokie wasn't far from Evanston, but the pick-up was so old, he didn't want to drive too fast. The suspension was terrible and the heat barely worked. He looked over at Jess who had her jacket buttoned up to her throat and would bounce up and down, barely tethered by her seat belt, each time they hit a bump. He couldn't help it, he started to chuckle.

"What?" Jess asked, amused.

"I don't know; this whole thing is darkly comic. I mean we're rattling around in this sub-zero truck, on the way to paw through my Dad's spoils of life as a con man. Honestly, I cannot imagine a worse Sunday afternoon."

Jess laughed too. "I know, this is always how it is when things are bad. It's like it isn't enough that something major has happened, all the little things have to go haywire too. I remember the day my parents told me they were getting divorced, I tripped at school and bit through my lip and had to get stitches. Even in elementary school, I knew how twisted that was."

"Oh my God," Nick laughed, "that's terrible!" They pulled into the storage facility and parked in front of his Dad's building. He turned to look at Jess. "You bit all the way through your lip?"

"Yep, look," she said, pointing to a faint white spot on the right side of her bottom lip. "You can still see the scar."

Without thinking, Nick tilted her chin up and smoothed his thumb across the little mark. His pulse was pounding in his ears and he heard Jess suck in a sharp breath. "Wow, I can't believe you can still see it. That must have been quite a fall," Nick said softly. He kept his thumb there just a moment longer and chanced a look into Jess's eyes. They were a shade darker than usual and it was hard to look away. But the cold was starting to seep into the truck now that the motor was off, so Nick pulled his hand back and cleared his throat. "Ok Jess, are you ready to wade into the belly of the beast?"

Jess held up the box of trash bags she had brought and gave him a thumbs-up. Fortunately, his Dad had sprung for a climate controlled unit inside a building, so they were actually able to stand being inside without full winter wear.

Nick keyed in the combination to his Dad's lock and pulled up the metal door.

"Sheesh."

The storage unit wasn't huge, but it was pretty packed. "Ok," Nick said. "Here's the plan. Anything that looks broken, any bizarre holiday decorations, old magazines and crap like that, trash pile. Clothing, sporting gear and books, we can donate. The rest I'll have to pick through."

"Aye aye!" Jess cheerfully saluted and dove in. Nick couldn't believe how much junk his Dad had accumulated. Hey counted five broken fishing poles and three punctured footballs. There was a bizarre collection of dried bird's nests. He nearly cut himself on a rusty outboard motor and was horrified to discover a very creepy charcoal drawing of his mother in a toga.

Jess had extricated heaps of old clothes and tried to talk Nick into keeping one of those oil paintings of dogs playing poker. Nick was just about to start sifting through a box of records when Jess called out to him.

"Hey Nick? I think you need to look at this."

Almost everything in the storage unit was stowed in old, falling apart cardboard boxes or plastic bags. Some things weren't even packed, just wrapped in a blanket. But the plastic container Jess was crouched over was pristine. Watertight and latched, its contents were perfectly preserved. "It's all you and your brother's stuff, look."

Nick opened the container and was amazed. Neat bundles of birthday cards and drawings he or his brother Jamie had done. Piles of pictures organized in little albums and photo boxes. Nick's first baseball glove, a little square of the blanket Jamie carried until he was five. Ticket stubs from games, brochures from trips to the zoo. Right on top, there was a small framed photo of Nick, probably 7 years old, pointing joyfully up at the sign above Wrigley Field. Nick's throat closed and for the first time since he'd heard the news about his Dad, he let a few hot tears fall. He felt Jess crouch down behind him and didn't flinch when she slid both her arms around his neck. He reached behind him and pulled her around so she was facing him, so he could look at her.

"This really sucks Jess," he choked out before wrapping her in a proper hug. This wasn't his style. He didn't sob all over old photos and cling to his roommate for support. But today, he just didn't care.

* * *

Three hours later, they were heading back to his Mom's house. They'd trashed more than half of the storage unit's contents at a nearby dumpster and dropped off a good amount at Goodwill after that. There were about 14 boxes crammed into the back of the pickup that would have to gather dust at his Mom's until they could be divvied up or sold. The work had been back breaking and emotionally exhausting, but Nick wasn't sure he was ready to leave, when Sunday night with the Miller family was on the horizon.

Jess must have been able to sense his growing unease because she scooted closer to him on the old bench seat and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "So, family dinner? I'm ready to rock if you are."

"Ah Jess, such confidence, such trust," Nick laughed. "Such a rookie mistake."

Jess laughed. "It's ok, just point me toward the bar, and I can weather anything."

Nick smiled at her as they pulled to a stop outside his Mom's house and took a steadying breath. "Well, good thing I know a guy who makes pretty stellar drinks."

* * *

_**Thanks for the continued support, more to come soon!**_


	3. Chapter 3

Nick pushed the door to his Mom's place open warily. It was noisy, which meant Jamie and his cousin Bobby were already there and probably already picking at each other. They'd switched on college basketball in the living room, but everyone was in the kitchen.

"Hey Nick, do you mind if I grab my bag and change in the bathroom? I've got some storage unit gunk on me."

"Yeah, of course Jess. Second door on the right down that hall. I'm gonna do the same."

Nick handed off Jess' tote and grabbed his own suitcase. He walked into "his" room. Since his Mom moved to Evanston after Nick was grown, he hadn't spent time here as a child, but you'd never know it. Instead of treating the extra bedrooms in her house like guest quarters, Nick's mom had decorated one for Nick and one for Jamie. Some of Nick's favorite posters still hung on the walls, a bookcase chock full of Hardy Boys paperbacks, story books and photo albums sat in the corner. His dresser was topped with an old change bank, a globe, a ceramic bowl he made at camp in the mid-nineties and some random toys and trinkets. Laughing, he picked up a YoYo ball. _You don't get rid of anything, do you Ma?_

"Nick?" Jess called, tapping softly on the door. "You ready?"

"Yeah, come in."

Jess popped her head in the doorframe. She was wearing a blue plaid skirt, tights, ballet flats and a little black sweater, also piped in blue.

"Oh geez!" Nick blurted out when he saw her. "My brother is going to act awful when he sees you in that outfit!"

Jess looked alarmed and nervously pulled at her skirt and smoothed her hair. "What do you mean? Does it look stupid, do I need to change?" Jess grabbed her bag and started back into the hall. "I'll just change, you're right, this is a dumb outfit. I look like a Bratz Doll."

Nick grabbed her arm and stopped her frantic departure. "No Jess, I'm sorry, you don't look stupid at all, that came out wrong." Nick rubbed his eyes, embarrassed. "You look incredibly cute, I just know Jamie is going to make some school-girl comment and I'm going to want to punch him." Nick turned to Jess who now looked bemused. "Please don't change, you look great."

"Ok," Jess shrugged smiling. "Thanks Nick."

"Are you ready to meet my idiot brother and jackass cousin?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

* * *

Jess and Nick walked into the kitchen where Jamie, Bobby and Nick's Mom were all gathered around the counter. Jamie and Bobby were eating chips and salsa without plate or napkin; Nick's mom was swiping a dishrag across the counter every time one of them spilled.

"Whoa, look what the cat dragged in! It's Saint Nick!" Bobby playfully punched Nick in the stomach, and Nick played along, grabbing his middle in mock pain.

"Bobby, good to see you man," Nick said grabbing him in a one armed hug. "Trip from Boston go ok?"

"Yep, drove straight through, only a few stops." Bobby turned to give Jess an appraising look. "Some of us had to road trip it. Would have been nice to have a little Kewpie Doll with airline miles along for the ride!"

"Bobby…." Nick said warningly.

"I know right?" Jess piped up cutting him off. "I may be an adult education teacher and barely have enough money in my checking account to pay the rent, but when it comes to bonus miles, I'm liquid, yo! Anyways, enough about me; I'm Jess, nice to meet you."

Bobby let out a snort of surprised laughter and grinned. "Nick, this one is a live wire. I'm Bobby."

Nick was impressed. Bobby was a blowhard, but he was easy to win over. With one kooky retort, Jess was in his good books. _All right_, Nick thought. _One down, two to go_. The phone rang and his Mom bustled off to the bedroom to answer it, motioning to Nick she'd be right back.

Nick walked over to his little brother and wrapped him in a hug. Jamie was a sweet guy, but he was a little troubled. Divorced, angry and constantly bowed under the chip on his shoulder, Nick wasn't sure how he was taking the news of his father's death.

"Hey Jamie, it's good to see you buddy," Nick said. "This is my friend Jess. Jess, this is my brother Jamie, he lives here in the city."

"Yep, sweet home Chicago," Jamie said, shaking Jess's hand carefully. "Most of the Millers still live here, but Nicky escaped to the dark side."

Jess laughed good-naturedly. "Well, we West Coasters appreciate Nick's Midwestern charm. It's refreshing."

"Good old Saint Nick," Jamie said taking a swig of his beer. "Glad he's appreciated."

"What's with the Saint Nick thing?" Jess asked, opening a bottle for herself. "Did you bring toys to the neighborhood children each December 25th?" Jess teased.

"Nah, we call him Saint Nick because he's such a high flyer," Jamie said, his face impassive. "Nick had to go to college, then law school, and then move all the way out to shiny California."

"That's all true," Bobby interjected, "but I call him Saint Nick 'cause his gut jiggles like a bowl full of jelly!" Bobby finished gleefully, backhanding Nick in the stomach. "Don't judge all the Millers on this one Jess," Bobby said lifting his sweater just a touch and flexing his abs, "some of us know how to take care of ourselves."

"Duly noted Bobby," Jess laughed, swigging her beer. "Thanks for the information."

Nick put his hands over his face and shook his head, but he smiled in spite of himself. _Jess is a trooper, she'll be fine._

Nick's Mom walked back into the kitchen. "That was your Aunt Ruthie," she said. "She told me to tell you hello and that she'd see you in a day or two."

"Sounds good," Nick said. "Ma, we're all closed out of the storage unit. We've got some boxes to put in the garage, but the rest has been tossed or donated."

"Thank you for doing that sweetie," Nick's mom said. "Thanks to both of you," she added stiffly.

"No problem Bonnie," Jess enthused, desperate to grab on to something positive. "Can I help you set the table, or finish up with dinner?"

"I've got it all handled; I set the table while you were all talking. Why don't we sit and eat, before it gets cold."

* * *

As they dug into lasagna, salad and bread, Nick let the conversation flow around him. He was so tired; it was hard to add much. Even though he was still a little nervous exposing Jess to all this, he was starting to relax a little. Every time Bobby referenced the gym or his core, Jess would nudge him under the table and they'd share a silent chuckle. When Jamie and Bobby started screaming at each other about the 1985 Bears versus the 2007 Patriots, Nick reached under the table and gave Jess' knee a squeeze. She grinned at him and covered his hand with her own, holding it there a little longer. Something fizzed through Nick at the gesture, and he found himself losing track of what everyone was saying around him.

"Ok, this is what I'm talking about!" Jamie cut in angrily. "Nick, are you even here with us?"

Nick pulled his hand back to his lap and looked up. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you sitting there like some gooey eyed idiot flirting with Little Miss Frequent Flyer when we're having a perfectly good football debate. A couple years ago, you would've been right there with me, but now, it's like everything you used to care about isn't good enough for you anymore."

"Jamie, calm down, I'm not ignoring the conversation. You know I'd throw myself in front of a car for Jim McMahon and the '85 Bears. I'm just tired; it's been a long day."

"Well, it's been a long year for some of us pal. You know Dad went to the hospital twice already this winter before he died? Did you know Mom's two months behind on her mortgage? I guess that's no big deal for Saint Nick out in La La Land."

Nick started to get angry. "You know what Jamie? It's a little hard to discern Mom's finances and Dad's health issues when nobody tells me anything! Well how about this? Did you know Dad came out to see me a couple months ago and ripped me off and conned Jess into investing in one of his stupid schemes? Did you know that even though I'm just a bartender, I send Mom 10 percent of everything I make? I'm sorry I graduated from college and I'm sorry I moved away, but those are choices I have the right to make."

Nick stood up from the table quickly. "Ma, thanks for dinner, I'm going to borrow your car and take Jess to her hotel. Are we meeting with the church people tomorrow?"

Nick's Mom nodded numbly. "Ok, well, I'll be back later tonight. You can wake me up whenever tomorrow morning in case you're asleep when I get home."

With that, he grabbed his Mom's keys from the hook, grabbed Jess' bags and stomped out the front door.

"Thanks for the food Bonnie, it was delicious. I'll see you all tomorrow," Jess murmured as she followed Nick outside.

* * *

It was quiet for the first few minutes of their drive to the Omni. Nick could tell Jess was nervous because she kept fiddling with her bracelet and twirling a piece of hair around her finger. Nick sighed, even when she was jittery and awkward, she was still beautiful.

"Jess I'm really sorry about dinner, I know that was weird for you."

"Nick please, don't apologize," Jess said reassuringly. "I know how stressful this is for you and your family. In my book, everyone gets a free pass right now."

Nick turned to smile at her gratefully and Jess met his gaze. She looked very uncertain and was chewing on her bottom lip.

"What's up Jess?" Nick asked, as they parked the car in front of the hotel. "You still look worried, out with it."

"Well, I was just thinking," she started, looking nervous. Nick nodded, urging her to go on. "Am I causing problems for you by being here? Did I impose on you by coming? I mean, I don't want to be a walking reminder of the fact that you chose to move away. Your family is grieving; I don't want to make things harder."

Nick rested his elbow on the back of his seat and lifted a hand to tug on a lock of Jess' hair. "Jess I appreciate your concern, and some of it is probably valid." Jess gave him a panicked look, but he shook his head to silence her. "What I mean is, I'm sure they're a little bothered by the fact that you're here. They're probably self-conscious about our money situation and everything and that might be hard for them. But I really don't care. I want you here; I need to be with someone I can count on right now. And that's you," Nick finished, embarrassed.

Jess blushed, but looked pleased. "Well, ok then."

Nick and Jess dragged her bags to the lobby and Nick helped her carry everything up after she checked in. Her room was clean and spacious and she looked happy with her surroundings. Nick stood awkwardly to the side as she rapidly unpacked both bags, hanging up sweaters, folding pajamas and lining up shoes in the closet. "So do you want to hang out for a minute and watch some T.V.?" Jess asked. She had already changed into stretchy pants and a t-shirt and was flipping through the channels.

"Uh, sure, I can stay for some T.V." Nick said. He kicked off his shoes and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Great! It looks like the pickings are a little slim, program-wise. Would you prefer a home improvement show, a weight loss show, or Family Feud?" Jess asked.

"Oh, it's gotta be the Feud," Nick said settling in.

* * *

It was some sort of Family Feud, late-night marathon and Nick and Jess were actively participating. They had started out sitting a few feet apart and cross legged, but a few episodes in they were leaning against the headboard, their legs stretched out in front of them, barely an inch between their hips. They were both pretty good at guessing the answers and had been shouting them out in turn.

_Name something that's kept in a jar?_

"Pickles!" they shouted in unison.

_Survey says…. Pickles!_

"Oh!" Nick and Jess screamed high-fiving. "We are unstoppable Miller!" Jess laughed squeezing his hand in triumph.

"You said it Jess," Nick agreed. "We should quit our jobs and go on the Feud circuit. Imagine all the luxurious vacations we'd earn, the piles of money we'd bring home to Winston and Schmidt."

Jess sighed and rested her head on Nick's shoulder. "That would be the life," she breathed dramatically, cutting her eyes toward Nick and grinning. Nick smiled back, and something crackled to life between them. It was the same something that had been shadowing them night and day since that fateful game of True American. They'd done a good job ignoring it, wrenching it out of frame. But it had been a long, draining day, and they were both losing their grip.

Jess lifted her head from Nick's shoulder and turned just slightly. He could see that tiny, faded scar on Jess's bottom lip, and before he knew what he was doing, he dipped his head and closed the distance between them. Jess met him halfway and let out a little whimper when his lips claimed hers for the second time. It was better than he remembered and suddenly he didn't want it to end. She urged him on and he slipped one arm around her waist and brought his other hand up to cradle her face. She responded by winding his t-shirt around her fists and pulling him even closer. The kiss deepened another shade and a little alarm bell went off in Nick's head. _This might be going somewhere dangerous. _Nick felt Jess pull back a little and took the opportunity to do the same. He opened his eyes and looked into her passion clouded baby blues. Her lips were swollen and her hair was rumpled. He had to stifle a groan and beat back the desire to grab her for an encore.

"Jess, I… I'm sorry. Well, I'm not sorry, but you know, it's just…"

"Not like this?" Jess supplied softly.

Nick smiled as she repeated his words back to him. "Yeah, something like that."

Jess smiled back. "Gotcha. You should get home Nick, thanks for hanging out with me."

"Are you getting tired?" Nick asked as he stepped into his shoes and rose to leave.

"Mm hmm," Jess yawned as she snuggled into her covers. "Little Miss Frequent Flyer needs to come in for a landing. Goodnight Nick."

"Goodnight Jess."

As Nick wound his way back to his Mom's, he had to fight the urge the whole way home to make a sharp U-turn and blaze a trail straight back to the Omni.

* * *

**_Thanks again for the reviews, I really appreciate them! Just a reminder, I don't own New Girl, or Family Feud, for that matter._**


	4. Chapter 4

**_This chapter is a little more "K+" just because of a snarky joke or two. Thanks for reading!_**

* * *

Nick had spent the whole morning with Jamie, his Mom and the good people of Grace Presbyterian Church. They really couldn't have been nicer, but the whole process was so draining, every tiny detail felt like and uphill climb. After last night's argument at dinner, he and Jamie had come to an unspoken agreement to be civil. His Mom seemed a little nervous around the two of them, her head darting to follow every snippet of conversation, her face tense. Even so, Nick could tell she was glad they were both there.

Saturday's service would be simple enough. Since his Dad had elected to donate his body to science, there would be no flower draped coffin; no expensive funeral home wake. The Millers were going to use the most spacious chapel for the memorial and after a message from the pastor and a few hymns; they'd have a little reception in the Fellowship Hall. _Short, sweet and basic. No frills, no high drama. That's one thing I can cling to._

"So, we're nearly set, we just need to decide on the eulogy," funeral director Carol looked up at them expectantly, pausing in her copious note taking to glance from Nick to his Mom to Jamie. Nick looked around and noticed all eyes had stopped on him.

"Oh, I don't know, I don't think this is a good plan," Nick said shaking his head rapidly.

"Please Nick," his Mom turned to him pleadingly. "I'm too much of a wreck, and you're the oldest. It doesn't have to be long, just something from the heart."

"Yeah Nicky, you're supposed to be the family genius here," Jamie snapped. "Why don't you put those 'almost a lawyer' oratory skills to good use?" Jamie's good will had obviously waned since the meeting at the church started, but Nick clenched his jaw, determined not to rise.

"It's just that I hadn't seen him much lately and I'm not the best public speaker," Nick back peddled. "Can't we just stick to the pastor and sing a few songs?"

Carol gave him a sad little smile, "It really is best if a good friend or someone from the family speaks. Would you be willing to keep it short? Maybe say a few words and then read something?"

Nick closed his eyes to gather himself for a minute. When he opened them, his Mom looked so desperate and his brother looked so defiant that he really didn't have much of a choice.

"Ok," he let out a puff of breath. "I'll take care of it."

* * *

Nick hadn't seen Jess all day. It was after 1 p.m. and he was starting to feel jittery. He'd texted her something awkward this morning about having to help his Mom and that he'd "catch her in the P-M." She wrote back something cheerful and ridiculous about seeing him on the "flippity-flip." Nick had just dropped his Mom off at home so she could make some calls and then take a nap. His brother had to work, so he left straight from the church. Nick hopped in the car and dialed up Jess, hoping she hadn't eaten yet, because he was starving.

"Thiiiiiiis is Jess," she chirped.

"Hey!" he laughed. "Very fancy answering. What are you up to?"

"Oh you know, exploring my surroundings, drinking in the local flavor, making new friends. You?"

"Well, I'm headed your way. Do you want to grab a bite?"

"Actually, I'd love to. And I already picked the place. It's called Clark's, do you know where it is?"

"I do, that's a good place. Ok, I'll be there in 10, are you inside?"

"Yep," Jess said. "I snagged us a booth in the back. You'll know it's me by the rose on my lapel."

"Geez, you're weird," Nick said grinning. "See you soon."

Nick knew he was supposed to be depressed. He was in Illinois in February planning his Dad's funeral. But he couldn't seem to stifle the smile on his face as he drove toward Clark's. Jess was so easy to have along, he thought as he parked. She fit in so gracefully and blended into the background when he needed to deal with his family. And last night, that kiss… there had been nothing one-sided about it. He'd looked her straight in the eye before he'd bridged the space between them. All he'd seen in her face was an invitation. _What's happening to you, guy? _Nick wondered as he pushed open the door to the restaurant.

"Nick!" he heard before he even had a chance to look around. Jess was hanging out of her booth at a cartoonish angle so she could wave at him. He laughed when he saw what she was wearing. Jess was dressed like Jess. A green sweater dress, boots, a striped headband; nothing out of the ordinary. But in a Midwestern, college-town diner; an establishment where everyone was hung-over and wearing a Northwestern hoodie, Jess stuck out like a sore thumb.

He hustled over where she was seated and made a spastic gesture to hug her at the same time she tried to do the same. They ended up bumping shoulders like two football players after a touchdown. Nick turned red and dropped into the booth across from her. Jess made a little sound halfway between a giggle and a tuneless hum.

"Sooooooo," Nick dragged out. "What looks good?"

Jess smiled gratefully, content for the time being to skate over their awkwardness. "Well, when I come across a place like this that serves breakfast all day, I can never decide if I should go the bacon and eggs route, or just eat lunch like a normal person."

"It is a dilemma," Nick agreed. "But since my Mom force fed me pancakes and sausage at 7 a.m., I'm going to go with the burger."

"Very wise," Jess intoned. "I'm going to order the Chicken Coop. It's a breakfast skillet with scrambled eggs, but it also has chicken in it, so I feel that yokes both meals together….pardon the pun."

"Oh my God, that was _terrible_," Nick groaned.

"I know, it was pretty bad," Jess giggled.

* * *

As they gorged themselves on Clarks' finest, Nick filled Jess in on plans for the service. Jess wrote down the time and place and promised to get in touch with Schmidt and Winston later that day. Nick was surprised by how grateful he felt to have his friends around him at a time like this. It was steadying and made him feel supported in a way he hadn't expected.

"So do you have anything else you need to do today?" Jess asked.

"Not for the forseeable future. Do you want to walk around a little? It's cold, but it's sunny at least."

"Yeah, that sounds good. College towns are fun to walk around in, always something to see."

As they meandered through the streets of Evanston, they played a game Jess came up with. When they passed a group of two or more, they had to name the relationship and guess what they had done the night before.

"Ooh, I've got this one, no problem," Jess whispered as they passed a group of three girls, probably 19 years old, wearing tight jeans, high shoes and what were clearly men's sweatshirts. "That's Aimee, Chloe and Becca," Jess said in an overly breathy voice. "They had a big night out last night and they couldn't resist an after party at Epsilon Phi Badchoices. Now they're headed home to wash off last night's makeup and pop a morning after pill."

"Jess!" Nick exclaimed, shocked. "So snarky!"

"I just call 'em like I see 'em," Jess shrugged.

"Ok, my turn," Nick said as they sidestepped a good looking middle aged woman walking half a step ahead of a bespectacled guy in his late twenties. "That's Professor Cougar and her T.A. He's named something sad, like Kalin, and dreams about impressing her with his knowledge of Dickensian truths. Unfortunately, she hardly remembers he's around half the time, so he spent last night drowning his sorrow in online gaming and Sambuca."

"Cl….classic Miller!" Nick looked over at Jess who was trying to smile but was clearly freezing. Her sweater dress, tights and pea coat weren't hacking it against the February chill; she wasn't even wearing gloves.

"God Jess, you're shivering," Nick said, throwing up his hands. "Come here." He pulled her out of the flow of traffic and tugged off the scarf he'd been wearing. He looped the fuzzy grey material once, then twice around Jess' neck and carefully tucked the tail under the lapel of her coat. "Give me your hands," he said. Jess's eyes widened, but she obeyed, placing her frozen fingers on Nick's waiting palm. He took one hand, then another and rubbed them gently between both his own. The friction started to spark warmth back into her, but Nick wasn't done. Bringing first her right hand, then her left up to his lips, he trapped her tiny hands between his and breathed warm air across her icy fingers. He took his time and repeated his ministrations until both hands were toasty.

"Better?" he asked in a low tone.

"Uh, yeah, way better," Jess stammered.

"Good, come on," Nick said grabbing her hand, and sliding their linked fingers into his outer coat pocket. "Let's head back to the car."

* * *

"So, we're supposed to go over to my Aunt's tonight, are you up for coming?" Nick asked Jess as they drove toward her hotel.

"Yeah, if you think everyone's ok with that," Jess said carefully.

"Well, my Aunt will love you; she's very free spirited. Translation, crazy," Nick joked. "And Bobby already thinks you're awesome, so that's two people in your corner."

"So I've got two people on my side? That's it?" Jess teased as they walked through the lobby.

"Well, I guess you sort of wore me down too," Nick admitted, smiling. They opened the door to Jess' room and she flopped down on the bed. "Who would have thought it? You used to drive me crazy, and now, you…."

"Drive you crazy?" Jess asked flirtatiously.

Nick had to physically restrain himself from growling. "Jess..." he said warningly. "You know maybe I shouldn't hang out with you in your hotel room anymore," Nick half teased. "It seems like this space complicates and distracts."

"Mm hmm, there's something to that," Jess twinkled. "Tell you what, I'm sure you need to call your Mom and check in. Why don't you go down to the lobby and handle that, and I'll do a quick spruce up and meet you there in 20 minutes so we can head to your aunt's. Sound good?"

"Yeah that works," Nick turned to leave, but felt something soft smack him in the shoulder.

"Don't forget your scarf!" Jess piped up grinning. She looked so cute and full of herself sitting on the edge of her bed that Nick couldn't resist pushing things just a bit further.

He grabbed his scarf with both hands and lassoed Jess around the middle with it. Then he gave a mighty tug so she flew to her feet, stopping just a breath away from where Nick stood. He leaned in so close that he could've counted each smoky eyelash. Smiling, he whispered in Jess's ear, "keep it, it looks better on you." In one swift motion, he twirled the scarf around her neck and bounced into the hall. _I'm doomed,_ he thought, _but I don't care._

* * *

_**Thanks for the continued support! More chapters to come!**_


	5. Chapter 5

The rest of the week blurred by. Nick got into a routine; wake up, eat breakfast, help his Mom with some chore, shower, meet Jess for lunch, rejoin his family. Sometimes Jess helped him do pesky stuff in the afternoon and most of the time she plugged in with his family for dinner. Bobby loved her and, as he'd predicted, so did his Aunt Ruthie. Jess was very patient with her long, rambling stories and asked her a lot of questions about Chicago, movies she'd seen, restaurant recommendations, you name it. Jamie hadn't exactly embraced Jess' quirky personality, but as he witnessed firsthand her willingness to help and the kindness she'd shown his family, his icy exterior thawed a bit.

Nick's Mom, however, was a different story. She seemed to take Jess' continued presence in Chicago as a personal insult. She'd broadly hinted to Nick on several occasions that Jess might be more comfortable back in L.A., where the weather was nicer and there wasn't so much going on. Every time his Mom lobbed one of these loaded little suggestions into the air, Nick firmly batted it down. _Jess is fine Mom, she's happy here, she doesn't need to go._

* * *

The day before his Dad's service had been exceptionally busy. There was a last minute snag with the flowers and a few of his cousins had needed rides to town from the airport, so Nick was in stuck with chauffeur duty. Jess had volunteered to pick up the programs from the printers and fold them, so while they'd spoken on the phone this morning, he hadn't seen her since the night before. He was on his way to Jess' hotel to snag her for a quick dinner at his Mom's house. He was antsy the whole drive over, eager to get there. Each time he hit a red light he sighed like it was the end of the world. He even muttered rudely at some kids who took too long crossing the street at a stop sign. He felt a little giddy and that confused him. His Dad's service was looming large and he was worried about his Mom; that was all very real. But even so, he found himself paying attention to his clothes, spritzing himself with cologne on the way out the door and trying to think of funny text messages to send Jess each morning. He hadn't dug too deep yet to figure out what was going on in his heart; he was a little nervous about what he might find there.

He gave himself a quick once over in the rear-view mirror before heading inside. Jess was already waiting for him in the lobby.

"Oh, hey!" Nick said, grinning as she stood to give him a quick hug around the neck. "I was going to come up and get you, you didn't have to wait here."

Jess shrugged. "It was no big thaaang," she drawled, smiling, "I guess I was just anxious to see you," she finished quietly. Before things could get weird between them, Jess picked up shopping bag full of boxes. "I brought the programs for your Mom."

"Thanks for doing that Jess, things got so crazy today. There will be even more Millers at dinner tonight, so it's just going to be a grab and go kind of thing, nothing too fancy."

Jess slid into the passenger seat and they set off. "Casual dinner sounds great. Does your Mom need us to pick up anything on the way? Wine or snacks or anything?"

"All covered," Nick said.

The street in front of his Mom's house was crammed with cars. He recognized some, but knew others probably belonged to friends and neighbors he didn't know.

"By the way," Jess said touching his sleeve as they walked into the house, "Schmidt and Winston get in after 10, so they decided to rent a car and drive in. That way the three of us can ride to the service together tomorrow and let you be with your family."

"I could have taken you guys, it's no big deal," Nick said.

Jess stopped in the entry way to the house and turned to face Nick. Putting a light hand on his chest, she fixed him with a serious look. "Nick, tomorrow is going to be tough enough, you don't have to worry about us. Just take care of your Mom and brother, ok? We'll be there on the other side."

Nick swallowed a jagged lump in his throat and looked down at Jess's hand, resting over his heart. All of the sudden, he didn't care that he was standing in his mother's living room with cousins and neighbors swirling around him. He grasped Jess's hand between both his own and brought it to his lips. He pressed a kiss into her palm and then raised his eyes to meet hers.

"Jess," he started, his voice ragged, "I can't tell you—"

"Oh good you're here," his Mom cut in loudly. "And you're here too," she said eying Jess.

Jess jerked back her hand like she'd been scalded and nervously smoothed her hair.

"Thanks for having me Bonnie," Jess said. "Can I help you with anything?"

"No I don't think so. We set everything out when Nick was on his way to pick you up. Nick, make sure you talk to the Savoys, they brought over a lot of the food tonight." With that she turned away to speak to someone else.

Jess seemed to sag under her indifference. It hurt Nick to see Jess so wilted, but he couldn't bring himself to take his Mom to task right now.

"Jess, I'm sorry," Nick said.

"Hey, no problem," Jess responded, squaring her shoulders. "The teacher's pet in me will never stop trying though. Want to get some food?"

"Let's do it."

* * *

Nick and Jess ate and chatted and mingled during what turned out to be a pretty pleasant dinner. Jess treated everyone she met with courtesy and interest and Nick actually caught Jamie going out of his way to re-fill her wine glass at one point. As the crowd of people thinned out, Nick and Jess started to clear away the paper plates, plastic cups and crumpled napkins left behind. They'd filled three trash bags when Nick decided he should probably haul them out to the garage. Jess gave him a playful little kick on his way outside, and he was still chuckling as he walked back in through the side-door. He grabbed another trash bag from the kitchen and was about to re-join Jess in the living room when his Mom's voice stopped him short.

"—I'm just saying, funerals are for family. I know Winston and that Schmidt are coming in, but he's known them for years, decades really in Winston's case. You just moved in with them what, 18 months ago? I appreciate you sharing your airline miles and trying to help out this week, but why don't you just head back to L.A.? Nick's in good hands here."

Nick saw red. _What are you doing, Ma?_ He was about to storm into the living room and put things right when Jess spoke up. He held himself back and listened.

"Look, Bonnie, it's obvious you aren't my biggest fan, and I get that. I know we've never met before, and this isn't the ideal time for anyone to make anyone else's acquaintance. I can assure you though, that I absolutely belong here."

Nick was stunned by Jess' quiet authority. There was nothing disrespectful in her tone, but she was speaking with a reserve of confidence Nick had never heard before.

"Nick isn't just my roommate of 18 months. He means so much more to me than that. I'd literally do anything for him, and I'm positive he'd do the same for me. And I'm sorry if me being here reminds you that your son lives far away and doesn't visit a lot. But Bonnie, that's not my fault. When someone you care about is in pain, you show up. When someone you love loses his Dad, you go to the funeral. And Nick…. and Winston and Schmidt," Jess stammered, "Well, they all fall in that category."

Nick's Mom sighed, "Well, I'm sure he appreciates having you here," she said, resigned. "Why don't we just leave it at that?"

"I appreciate that Bonnie," Jess finished. "You know, you did a great job raising him, he's probably the best guy I know. Let me know if you need a hand with anything else."

He heard his Mom walk into the kitchen, so Nick backed silently in to the laundry room so she wouldn't know he had overheard. He waited a full minute and then pushed open the door like he was just coming in from outside.

"Hey Ma," Nick said cheerfully. "What else can I help you with?"

His Mom looked a little flustered from her encounter with Jess and started slightly when she heard him. "Oh, nothing dear, it's all done."

Nick felt a pang of sadness when looked into his Mom's face. All the irritation he'd felt when she was sneakily trying to send Jess home evaporated and he saw his Mom for what she really was; a lonely widow who missed her oldest son. Nick wrapped his Mom in an unexpected hug, "I love you Ma, you're doing great with all this, you know that?" Nick pulled back and his Mom gave him a watery smile. "How about I pick up bagels and coffee in the morning so you don't have to do anything before the service? Sound good?"

"That would be nice," Nick's Mom said, "thank you. It's getting late, I'm probably going to head to bed early. You and Jess can take the car if you need to do anything before you drop her off. Thanks for cleaning up Nick."

His Mom handed him the keys and gave his hand a little squeeze as she walked out of the kitchen.

Jess was tidying up the living room and chatting with Jamie when Nick reappeared. "Hey, Mom went to bed, so I was thinking of going out for a beer. You guys want to come?"

Jess nodded enthusiastically but Jamie shook his head, "Nah, I've got my car here and I've already had a couple, so I don't want to push it. Thanks though. You guys go and I'll see you both tomorrow. Have fun." Jamie waved to Jess and gave his brother an affectionate little shove. Nick laughed as he skidded backwards. "See you tomorrow little bro."

After Jamie left, Nick turned to Jess and proffered his elbow, "shall we, Miss Day?"

Jess laughed at his uncharacteristic silliness and tucked her hand into the crook of his arm, "We shall."

They drove to a bar close to campus and walking distance from Jess' hotel. "Prairie Moon," Jess read as they walked inside the spacious bar. It was pretty loaded up with students and the bouncer looked visibly relieved when the two of them flashed their clearly real and over 30 ID's.

Nick made a face as he took in the 21 year-old crowd and trendy exposed brick bar. "This is probably the kind of place that only serves beer that comes garnished with a strawberry or sprig of honeysuckle."

Jess giggled, "Or maybe they serve weird Craft beers with Jolly Ranchers at the bottom."

Nick groaned but consented to order a Blue Moon for himself and one for Jess. Since most of the Northwestern students were standing clumped in groups talking and flirting, they were able to grab a tiny table by the door. Nick took a sip of his beer and decided not to tell Jess he'd overheard her giving his Mom a talking to. _It might embarrass her. I'll tell her some other time._

* * *

A few beers in, the lively conversation slowed for a moment. The weight of what was facing him tomorrow seemed to take hold all the sudden and he felt physically burdened.

Jess spoke up. "So how are you feeling about tomorrow?"

Nick let out a puff of breath. "I don't know Jess. I can't really figure it out. I'm not gonna lie, my Dad and I weren't really close, especially not recently. But I'm sad. Sad that my father lived this tumultuous, dishonest life until his body couldn't take it anymore. The way he was, killed him, you know? That's tough to swallow."

Jess scooted her chair around to Nick's side of the table so he wouldn't have to shout over the bar noise. He turned to face her and felt encouraged by the understanding he saw in her face.

"You know, I'm giving the eulogy tomorrow and I'm a little stuck. I found something to read, but it is so hard to figure out what to say about him. He didn't take care of himself, he lied all the time and he let our family down." Nick started to shred a napkin into thin, angry strips until Jess covered his hand stopping him.

"Ok, so you're Dad had a lot of flaws, who doesn't?" Jess asked. "The key is, think about one thing you loved about him, think about why you loved it and share that. He doesn't have to be a hero. When you talk about him tomorrow, just think about what you'll miss most." Nick looked skeptical, so Jess soldiered on.

"Nick, I know there's something. You're his son, and you are a warm, caring, honorable person. That must have come from somewhere."

Nick looked down at his lap, he didn't do well with compliments, but he was incredibly grateful at Jess' words.

"Well, there is one thing that I always appreciated," Nick started as Jess urged him on with frantic nods. "I loved sports when I was a kid, like, my feelings for sports were incredibly deep."

Jess laughed and Nick smiled back at her. "I remember my Dad let me sign up for everything; football, baseball, soccer, hockey. And I wasn't horrible, but I wasn't a star, you know? I got in the game, but that was about it. Some parents were really annoying, always pushing the coaches for more playing time, yelling at their kids when they missed a play. But my Dad was always positive. He came to all my games and no matter what; he made a huge deal about everything I did. If I got walked, he would make it seem like I was personally responsible for loading the bases. If I threw a good block and we scored on that drive, it was all thanks to me. If I passed the puck or the ball, I was an unselfish, team-oriented hero. I always loved playing sports in front of my Dad, he made it really fun."

"There you go," Jess said. "I think you know what you're going to say."

Nick and Jess were sitting so close together, that when the drunken guy next to them lost his balance and bumped their table; he practically pushed Jess into Nick's lap. The kid was too far gone to even notice, but Jess' face turned beet red. "Sorry," she stammered, "let me just…" she tried to get her feet underneath her and scoot back to her seat, but Nick, feeling brave, tightened his grip on her waist and held her in place. "Don't be sorry," he said, emboldened by the beer and what he'd overheard earlier. "I'm not." And under cover of a couple drinks and the college bar scene, Nick leaned in placed a very slow, very soft kiss on Jess' waiting lips. He felt her sigh against him and felt the tension drain out of her body as she relaxed into the moment.

When they pulled apart Nick let out a puff of laughter. "And we're not even in your hotel room."

Jess blushed but recovered quickly. "I guess we're not safe anywhere now. C'mon Miller, walk me home. Big day tomorrow."

As nervous as he was about the next day's events, as he guided Jess down the sidewalk, somehow, the whole thing seemed a lot less terrifying.

* * *

**_Thank you all for the reviews, I greatly appreciate the feedback! There will be a chapter or two still to come on this._**


	6. Chapter 6

Nick was uncomfortable in his suit and overcoat, but that seemed fitting. If he was swaddled in flannel and familiar jeans, it wouldn't erase the nervous dread in the pit of his stomach, so he might as well look the part. It was high noon and he was driving his Mom and Jamie to the church for his Dad's service. It had been a busy, emotional week, but somehow, it seemed like this day would never dawn. Over the last seven days, he'd been tied up with chores, duties and obligations. Even though he'd had a few sobering moments with his family and Jess, moments when the sharp truth of his father's death sliced clean through, today was the first day the loss really hit home.

Nick expected to be one of the first to arrive at the church, but was surprised to see many parking spots already taken. It warmed him to know that even though his father had cut a lot of corners, cheated a lot of people, he would be remembered today among friends.

He guided his Mom into a little room the church staff had set aside for close family. The pastor, kind-faced and calm, came in to go over the order of events for the service. There would be an opening hymn, a prayer, another song, a short talk by the minister, Nick's eulogy and a closing recessional. Nick, surprisingly, had found a poem to read without much searching. It was the personal message that had troubled him. Jess's advice to him from the night before rang through his mind, _just think about one thing you loved about him, and why you loved it. He doesn't have to be a hero, just think about what you'll miss most. _Nick's heart ached. Suddenly, the loss of his father was profound.

"Ok, Miller family, are you ready to go in? It's time to start." Carol beckoned for them to follow and opened the chapel door so they could file to the front.

Nick was too uncomfortable to look around and try to pick out friends and family members in the crowd, so he kept his eyes forward as he led his Mom and brother to the front row. They slipped in next to Aunt Ruthie and some cousins. Nick took the seat on the end so he could walk to the front without stepping on toes and he reached into his suit coat pocket for the 20th time to make sure his notes were there. _Just breathe_, _you've got this_.

As they rose to sing the first hymn, it was obvious how many people had turned out to honor Walt. The many voices lifted in song sounded beautiful and the mellow lilt of the organ gave Nick's sagging spirit a little lift. The pastor spoke simply and honestly about life on earth, those we love while we're here and the kingdom of heaven. Before he knew it, Nick was making his way to the podium.

"Thank you all for coming, I'm Nick Miller, Walt's oldest son. Seeing you all here today means a lot to me, my brother Jamie and my mother Bonnie."

The easy part was over. Nick pulled out his notes with shaking hands and took a steadying breath.

"I thought I would start today by reading my favorite Robert Frost poem. It's called _Birches_."

Nick cleared his throat and began to read.

_"When I see birches bend to left and right_

_Across the lines of straighter darker trees,_

_I like to think some boy's been swinging them._

_But swinging doesn't bend them down to stay _

_As ice-storms do. Often you must have seen them_

_Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning_

_After a rain. They click upon themselves_

_As the breeze rises, and turn many-colored_

_As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel._

_Soon the sun's warmth makes them shed crystal shells_

_Shattering and avalanching on the snow-crust-_

_Such heaps of broken glass to sweep away_

_You'd think the inner dome of heaven had fallen…"_

As Nick read, the poem's shining, lyrical truth seemed to breathe courage into him. His Dad may have let him down over the years and he may not have been a bastion of honesty and moral fortitude, but he'd loved Nick completely, and today, that was enough.

_ "…I'd like to get away from earth awhile_

_And then come back to it and begin over._

_May no fate willfully misunderstand me_

_And half grant what I wish and snatch me away_

_Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:_

_I don't know where it's likely to go better._

_I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree,_

_And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk_

_Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,_

_But dipped its top and set me down again._

_That would be good both going and coming back._

_One could do worse than be a swinger of birches."_

Nick finished the reading and raised his eyes to the crowd. "My father was definitely a swinger of birches. Give him the opportunity, and he'd always climb to the top, smiling the whole way up, and laughing as the tree finally gave way and swooped him back down to earth."

The crowd let out a low chuckle and Nick squared his shoulders, feeling more confident. "My Dad was an incredibly joyful person. Nothing was ever too much for him. When I turned 8, I told him I wanted a 'Casino Night' themed birthday party. Most parents would have rolled their eyes, or maybe made a few centerpieces out of dice, but not my Dad. He hauled in four or five card tables, an ancient slot machine, real, ceramic chips and hired some weird old friend of his to play dealer. The guy wore a visor and everything," Nick said, laughing. "He had all these prizes for my friends and my cake looked like a roulette wheel. Everyone at school talked about it for weeks. I was a celebrity."

Nick's throat started to prickle, but he kept going.

"There are a lot of different types of parents out there, and some do things better than others. My Dad wasn't perfect, nobody is. But it was truly fun to be his son. Every day with him was adventurous. I hope one day my children look at me with the same wild excitement I felt when my Dad came home from work with a new idea. I will never forget how deeply my Dad loved and lived his life. I feel lucky to have seen that."

Nick's eyes lighted on his friends just then. Winston, who had always been incredibly devoted to "Pop Pop" was teary-eyed, gripping the edge of the pew for support. Schmidt, dressed in 'funeral-chic' as he called it, looked sad and a little uncomfortable. He was fiddling with his pocket square and shifting in his seat. Nick locked eyes with Jess who looked choked up, but proud too. She gave him a tiny smile and an affirming little nod. Nick's heart swelled.

"The most important thing my Dad taught me was to cherish the people who color your life. I never doubted his love for me and my family. And I know he would have moved heaven and earth for his friends. I hope everyone here today has the chance to make it to the top of at least one birch tree, and I hope when you all do, you'll take a moment, and think of Walt Miller. Thank you."

Nick stumbled down the steps and back to his seat. He was relieved that was over, but felt a little shaky now that he was done. The adrenaline left him and his legs felt like jelly. But he was happy with how he did. He hadn't lied, he hadn't inflated his Dad's memory with trumped up assertions about his strength of character. He'd honored his father properly.

* * *

The rest of the service unfolded without incident, and Nick's family led the crowd to the fellowship hall during the recessional. There was a table set up with tiny sandwiches, cheese, fruit and cookies and everyone was invited to eat and mingle. Nick and his family got stuck in kind of a makeshift receiving line. He greeted dozens of people and was told countless times that he delivered a lovely eulogy. He was grateful to hear it, but as the minutes ticked by, exhaustion started to set in. Jess, Winston and Schmidt had graciously kept to the back of the line so they wouldn't impose on other guests. By the time they made it to the Millers, the crowd had thinned considerably.

Winston got there first throwing his arms unabashedly around Nick, his Mom and Jamie in turn. He was crying and carrying on a bit which was both startling and a little funny. "Oh man, you did Pop Pop proud up there Nick, you got me right here!" Winston said jabbing his heart with his finger.

"Ok Winston, let's not call him Pop Pop, it's gonna be ok," Nick said patting his back as Winston enveloped him in another hug. "All good Buddy," Nick said rolling his eyes at Jamie over Winston's shoulder.

Schmidt approached next, looking beyond uncomfortable. Nick had a sneaking suspicion that Schmidt, who was obsessed with healthy living and the "very real possibility of immortality," was a little rattled by death and dying.

"Nick, the caterers are really ruining the energy of this room the way they've laid the table," Schmidt started. "Obviously drink glasses should be stacked in an inverted pyramid at the far end, then fruit and cheese and then sandwiches. There needs to be a rhyme or reason to the order, less substantial to more substantial." Schmidt paused and looked up tentatively. "Do you want me to go handle it? I'd be more than happy to."

Nick smiled. He'd throw Schmitty a bone on this one and let him have this diversion. "That would be great Schmidt, thanks for coming." Schmidt nodded and then turned, darting in for a bone crushing hug before racing off to re-arrange the food spread.

Nick shook his head and turned to face Jess. She was wearing a gray dress and boring black stockings, but her unique "Jess-ness" still shone through. She beamed at him. "Nick, that was the most beautiful speech I've ever heard. It was honestly perfect," she praised. "I'm incredibly proud of you," she murmured taking both his hands in hers. He looked down at their joined hands and smiled at the little goose bumps that appeared when he started tracing circles across her knuckles.

"Thanks Jess," he said, his voice gravelly. "You really helped me."

"Nah," she said shaking her head, "that was all you Miller." She stretched up on her tip-toes and pressed a sweet kiss into his cheek. Blushing, she swiped her thumb across the lipstick mark she left there, muttering an apology, but Nick covered her hand with his own and drew it back to his lips for another kiss.

"Seriously, thanks for everything Jess," Nick said. "I hope I can pay you back someday."

"I have no doubt you will Nick," Jess shrugged, smiling. "So we might be some of the last ones here, should we help clean up?"

* * *

Nick talked to his Mom, who was exhausted, and it was decided that Jamie would drive her home in Ruthie's car while Nick and his friends stuck around to clean up and settle everything with the church. Nick, Jess, Winston and Schmidt kept at it until late afternoon; making sure all the Millers personal dishes had been washed and collected, loading flowers into the car and restoring the fellowship hall to its previous state of cleanliness. As the four friends worked side-by-side, the conversation was easy, natural. Nick was incredibly grateful.

Once everything was loaded up, Nick clapped Winston and Schmidt in one last hug. They were taking a red eye back to L.A. so Winston could get back on his overnight schedule and not have to go straight into work from Chicago Sunday night. The three of them did some gentle shoulder punching, the guy version of "thanks for coming," and Nick saw them off.

Jess slid an arm around his waist as they drove off and they just stood there for a minute enjoying the closeness. "You were seriously great today, but you must be wiped out. Do you want to head to your Mom's and grab a nap?" Jess asked.

"Yeah maybe," Nick said. "But I don't want to drop you off, just come home with me, ok?"

Jess looked startled and a little pleased, "Yeah, sure, whatever you want."

"Good," Nick said, tugging her to the car, "let's go."

* * *

Nick's Mom house was silent when they walked inside. It looked like his Mom was asleep and Jamie had taken Ruthie home. "Let's go hang in my room," Nick whispered. "It's on the other end of the house, so we can talk and not wake her up."

Jess nodded and followed him inside. Once Nick shut the door, he resumed a normal tone. "Wow, what a day. I had all this adrenaline earlier and now I just feel…"

"Spent?" Jess ventured.

"Exactly."

"I would be surprised if you didn't; it's exhausting to be 'on' for so long. First getting organized for the service, then the eulogy and the receiving line; that takes a ton of energy."

Nick nodded and looked around his room. He walked over to his bookcase and snagged an old, red leather album. "Would you like a glimpse of pre-teen Nick, and perhaps Winston?" Nick offered, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Would I ever!" Jess squealed. Nick sat on the edge of his bed and motioned for Jess to join him. This particular album was a good mix of candids, family photos and awkward school pictures. Nick in overlarge football pads, Nick and his brother in too short pajamas on Christmas Day, some priceless shots of Nick and Winston defiling a photo booth at a Bar Mitzvah. Jess exclaimed over each one, and tried to pry back the cellophane and steal a picture of Nick, blazer clad and grinning at his first school dance.

"Oh man, look at that, you're wearing a silk shirt!" Jess laughed. "Those were the rage. I remember dancing with this one kid, Chet I think his name was, at the Christmas dance in seventh grade. He was rocking a silk shirt but had been horsing around all night with his friends so you could see little droplets of sweat all over it. Priceless."

"Blech," Nick turtle-faced. "Yeah, middle school boys and hygiene, not a match made in heaven," he started to yawn and scooted back so he was leaning against his headboard and stretched his legs out in front of him. He tugged Jess back with him so their legs were flush from toe to hip.

"Hey, if you're getting tired, I can go read in the living room or something, I know you need to rest," Jess said.

"Nope," Nick said stifling another yawn. "You're not going anywhere. I get to act needy today, and this feels too good to give up right now." He let his head droop so Jess was forced to scoot even closer. "Can't you just hang out here? We'll just close our eyes for a second," Nick said.

"Well…. if you're sure," Jess whispered scooting down just a smidge so she could rest her head on his shoulder in earnest.

"I'm sure," Nick mumbled. And with that, he drifted off; half sitting, half lying, still in his church clothes, with Jess snuggled up against him.

* * *

**_One more chapter to come! Thanks for all the reviews you guys, they really help! I don't own New Girl or the works of Robert Frost. _**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Hello all! Thanks for the continued support. This final chapter is probably a little more K+. Just a reminder, I don't own anything related to New Girl!_**

* * *

Sunday dawned clear and cold, and before he knew it, it was time for Nick and Jess to head back to the airport and back to L.A. Jess insisted on leaving from his Mom's house so she could drop off a "hostess gift" before their flight. Ever since the little tete-a-tete between his Mom and Jess Friday night, his mother's cold indifference toward his roommate had started to thaw.

"Thanks again Bonnie, for having me. I can't imagine how hard it is to meet new people under these circumstances," Jess pressed a little package into Nick's Mom's hands. She lifted the lid off the box to reveal a stack of about 50, hand-painted note cards. They were adorned with Van Gogh-like swirls of gold, green and blue. They were beautiful, and Nick noticed the matching, lined envelopes had already been printed with his Mom's return address.

"Geez Jess, those are really nice," Nick blurted.

Jess shrugged self-consciously. "I figured you'd be writing a lot of notes in the coming days and thought it might be nice if you had something new to look at while you did that."

Nick's Mom pressed her lips together and blinked a few times. When she looked up, Nick couldn't see a trace of the wariness she'd clung to all week long. "Thank you Jess, they're perfect." His Mom reached out and folded Jess into a quick hug. "Thank you for helping Nick get here, and for staying. He's lucky to have you." Jess looked thrilled and surprised and gave his Mom a heartfelt squeeze in return.

Nick took his time saying his goodbyes to his Mom and Jamie. He promised to visit more often, and they promised to make a trip out sometime soon. Their grief was still ragged and raw, but Nick felt more hopeful than he had before his Dad's service. _The Millers are going to be o.k_.

Nick's Mom and brother still had family and friends to entertain, so Jess and Nick took a cab to O'Hare. The airport was busy and crowded and it took forever to get through security. When they finally arrived at the gate, they weren't even able to sit together. In a moment of chivalry, Nick gave Jess the last empty seat and volunteered to go buy snacks. "What do you want Jess?" Nick asked.

"I trust you," she shrugged. "Surprise me."

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Nick dumped a bag's worth of goodies in Jess's lap.

"Whoa, what have we got here?"

"I don't know, I suck at shopping," Nick whined dropping into the empty seat next to Jess which had mercifully cleared. "I got you a bottle of citrus green tea, because you drink tea constantly. I didn't know if you wanted something salty or something sweet, so I bought chocolate covered almonds and Cheez-Its, which, comes to think of it, sounds like a disgusting combination. Oh, and I bought you an _Us Weekly_, because I heard you talking to my cousin Marissa about 'The Bachelor' and that idiot guy's on the cover."

Jess looked delighted. "Nick, I honestly couldn't have done it better myself. I'll eat the crackers now, and save the chocolate for dessert. And thanks for the reading material, I can't wait to hear about Sean's journey to becoming a born again virgin."

"Yuck, what does that even mean?" Nick pulled a face.

"Oh, it's some new concept where you have a lot of sex in your early twenties and then stop abruptly, holding out for marriage."

"Is that what girls go for?"

"Hey, I say when it comes to intimacy; to each his own. But, as far as this girl goes?" Jess pointed to herself. "Sean is definitely not my type."

"Is that so?" Nick asked.

"He's too shined up, you know?" Jess said, screwing up her face. "He's tall and blond and works out every day and he never lets his hair grow, like, even a centimeter over his ears. He's too accessible and Ken Doll; it's boring," Jess finished, swigging her tea. "I like a little mystery, a little grit. I don't want to feel like a messy pony-tail would make me the slob of the relationship."

"So there's a part of you that likes a little scruff?" Nick teased.

Jess set down her tea and looked him straight in the eye. She reached up and put a hand on the side of Nick's face, stroking her thumb down his jawline and finally palming his cheek. "I think that's obvious, Nick." He felt his throat go dry as she dropped her hand, picked up her magazine and starting reading, a cocky little smile on her face.

"Jess…" he started warningly, determined not to let her off the hook that easy.

"Oh, would you look at that," Jess said, pointing to the gate agent who had just started her spiel. "It's already time to board. Grab your stuff, Miller, we've got a plane to catch."

* * *

The flight was unremarkable, although Nick did enjoy cuddling Jess to assuage her self-admitted fear of take-off and landing. Her shampoo smelled like peppermint, and he had a hard time ignoring how perfectly she puzzle-pieced into the crook of his shoulder.

They cabbed it home since Winston was already at work and Schmidt had texted he was out for drinks with co-workers. The loft was a little too quiet when they let themselves in and plunked their bags on the hardwood floor.

"Hey Nick, check this out," Jess said waving Nick over to the kitchen counter. "Winston left you something."

It was a faded kids t-shirt. Pale blue and decorated with two fanned out decks of cards it read; _'Nick's 8__th__ Birthday Bash was the Real Deal!_' Nick picked up the t-shirt, amazed at how tiny it was and shook his head. "My God," he chuckled. "I can't believe he still has this." Nick swallowed one last lump in his throat and looked down at Jess. "It was a pretty amazing party. I think my Dad rigged almost every game so I came out on top. So shady."

Jess stood up and slipped her arm around Nick's waist, giving him a quick squeeze. "Yeah, but the good kind of shady."

Nick laughed and folded the t-shirt, putting it back on the counter. Now that they were back in the loft, alone, it was like the air had been sucked out of the room. He'd spent the last week with Jess; traveling, doing errands, eating in restaurants. It had been emotionally charged, and not without its share of electric moments, but without his Dad's service looming, without the distraction of his family, the buffer of Chicago, he was suddenly faced with something much more intense. Jess looked at him carefully, and he knew she felt it too. They were on slippery ground.

They were standing a few feet apart and just as Nick was about to open his mouth, make a stupid joke and diffuse the tension, something else took over. He closed the gap between them in one, long stride and kissed her with everything he had. She staggered backward, wrapping her arms around his neck and giving as good as she got. The counter stopped their progress and Nick slanted his mouth over hers, deepening the kiss and pulling her even closer. His hands grasped her waist, roamed across her back, tangled in her hair; he couldn't stop touching her. He put everything he had into the kiss, trying to communicate just how much he appreciated her, how much she meant to him. Jess whimpered and leaned into him, fusing her body with his. Nick slowed the pace just a shade, and grinned a little when he heard the small sound of disappointment Jess made in response. After another moment or two, Nick pulled back, resting his forehead against hers and tracing down her spine with both thumbs before resting his hands on her hips. Jess gulped in a breath and opened her eyes; she looked just as astounded as he was sure he did. "Oh my God," she murmured.

Nick nodded. "Yeah, I know. Me too."

They slowly pulled apart and took just a few steps back. Jess started to say something, but Nick waved her off.

"Ok, I think I better start, because my bravado here is purely fueled by adrenaline and it might not be long for this world, is that ok?"

Jess nodded and let out a little flutter of laughter.

"Before this thing with my Dad happened, I knew something was going on with us. That kiss after True American, well, you know, you were there. But even before that, it was always kind of under the surface, at least on my end," he finished awkwardly.

"Not just your end," Jess whispered, looking down.

Nick smiled and soldiered on. "But I don't know, in Chicago it just ramped up. You put up with my crazy family, you helped me get it together, you didn't push me. I was sad about my Dad the whole time, but I don't know, my thoughts kept drifting over to you. I guess what I'm trying to say is before Chicago, I knew I wanted you. But now, I know how much I need you."

Nick was staring at his shoes at this point; his face was boiling hot. He'd never been one for "feelings talk," and this little speech may have bested him.

"So, do you, uh, have any thoughts on this?" Nick choked out.

He dared to look up at Jess. She was flushed and fidgety. He couldn't read her face exactly, but he didn't see revulsion there, or pity. He dared to hope.

"Yes, I have thoughts," Jess started. "I, um, I think that I've probably needed you for a pretty long time. That's why it was so easy to just jump in with you this week. It would have felt wrong not to be there with you, and I think it might feel even wronger if we try to push this you and me stuff aside anymore."

Nick grinned, "Wronger?"

"Don't split hairs with me Miller," Jess said taking a tentative step closer.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Nick whispered as he dipped down to kiss her again. This one was light, sweet and full of promise.

"So, Winston and Schmidt are gonna be pissed," Jess said, smiling.

"Eh, let 'em whine," Nick replied. "So do we need to define this, figure out how it's going to work?" Nick asked worriedly.

Jess fixed him with a peculiar little look as she threaded her fingers through his. "I don't think so Nick. If it's not broke, don't fix it."

And with that, Nick Miller, who had never felt more whole in his life, took a deep breath, opened his heart, and let it all in.

* * *

**_Thank you all so much for your kind words about this story! They meant so much to me. My little shipper heart can't take this two week New Girl break, so you'll definitely see another story from me very soon!_**


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